Blue Sky and a Chicken Salad Sandwich


It is lunchtime, which means a chicken salad sandwich on grainy bread and a full tummy.  The sky is very blue, I wasn’t out for long but after work I am going for a walk with Cynthia so we can enjoy the late afternoon sun.  I better remember to wear my sunglasses this week!

What I didn’t tell you in my last post was that I had cancelled my Monday night personal training session.  I was still at work late in the day and realised I would really have to rush to get home, get changed, and get to the gym in time.  I didn’t feel motivated at all, and in fact was feeling upset about all the junk food I had eaten over the weekend.  The six week measurements were due for the 12 week challenge, where I was to stand on the scale, and get my waist, hips, legs, arms, everything measured to see the progress I had made.  I didn’t feel like I had any progress to brag about, I was feeling very down about it all, and I picked up my phone and I cancelled my session.

What I also did, thankfully, was ask him if he was able to fit me in Tuesday instead.  Because on Monday I had all those feelings, but I also knew that this was not something to put off indefinitely, and it was not something that was going to go away without some effort from me.  So when he replied Tuesday morning to suggest 7:30pm I agreed.  By then I had already thought about the patience I needed, and taken my big deep breaths (see previous post).  My decision to turn over a new leaf on Tuesday morning coincided with his sms, and so I ate really well all day.  But after we had an early dinner and I was changed into my gym gear I was feeling down again.  I did that awful thing you find yourself doing, complaining “I am fat fat fat” and shaking my belly and looking at all my flaws.  Bless him, Dave gave me some kind of pep talk, I don’t even remember what it was, short and sweet and enough to get me out of my chair, and off I went.

Measurements.  According to the scales at the gym I’ve lost even less weight in six weeks than my scales told me at home.  BUT, according to the tape measure at the gym I have lost 6 cm from both my waist and hips.  Plus a couple of centimetres here and there on shoulders, arms, thighs, etc.  I don’t know if it is true (I swear he pulled the measuring tape tighter) but it was enough to make me feel like at least there was something on paper showing that things are moving in the right direction.  Positive little steps forward.

Then we did a training session and by the time I got home I felt good again, balanced, in control.  Today I am eating good things, and I will be going for that walk, and later tonight is Sh’Bam class.  My feelings are back in the right zone, the one that has me feeling good about some of my efforts, but not so good I don’t want to keep making changes for the better.



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