I was having scheduling issues with my personal trainer, he messed me around a little over the easter public holiday and charged me for a session even though it wasn’t at a mutually agreed time and I couldn’t make it.
Tonight I finally got to training and the weight session was okay, although he pushed me quite hard so I was a bit huffy and cranky, especially when lying on a stupid leg curl machine and slipping and feeling concerned about my huge tracksuit clad bottom in full view of the entire gym. Then he looked at my food diary and asked me how I think I went, and I agreed I have not been eating well over the past week.
I told him that I am struggling with having someone look over my food diary, that I know what good nutrition looks like, and I don’t feel motivated by answering to someone else for what I eat. I realise that I’m not doing so well, and I plan to pull my socks up and keep going, but that it is quite frustrating for me to discuss my food diary.
He said that personal training is not just about weight training but is nutritional advice too, and asked me if I think it is acceptable to have bad weeks. I shrugged and said I think that it’s just life, it’s going to happen. He said this means that I think it is acceptable, and I told him that I believe it is better to consider how I go in the long term rather than stress about a bad week. He then said that if I think it is acceptable to have a bad week then I will think it is acceptable to have a bad fortnight, a bad month, etc. He is cranky because if I ate very well all the time I would ‘drop big numbers’ and he doesn’t like that I count calories. He believes it is about what you eat and at what time of day – ie, no carbs after 6pm and eating protein every few hours. This doesn’t fit in so well with my real-life life, and he can tell I’m a bit frustrated by the advice. He is frustrated that I am not listening to his advice and basically tells me I can stop training with him. His words were “We can finish up next week if you like.”
To continue to be part of the “12 week transformation challenge” (one month to go) I must have a personal trainer. I told him that I am not ready to give up, but I am sitting here now, at home, thinking that the only reason I am not is because of pride. Having to admit I couldn’t get through the full 12 weeks. I am trying to consider it properly, and I don’t think I’ll get much of a sense of achievement for getting through the full 12 weeks when it is feeling like this.
I don’t want to keep at this only to end up disliking the gym entirely. I am feeling a bit sad about it all, actually, I did have very high expectations of myself and of this challenge going in, and I don’t really think that has helped, when I am finding that I am still as flawed as ever, when it comes to taking advice from fit people. I don’t feel like my personal trainer and I can relate to each other at all.