Some of these things are not exactly new lessons, just reinforcements of things I already knew.
You may have seen that from 1st January through to a few days ago, I was playing with a “Photo a Day” challenge. I started with great enthusiasm. “I can do this all year long!” I said to myself. As though myself were a stranger who might be fooled by my naivety. So … that lasted a couple of weeks and it was fun, and I may pick it up again at some point. But eventually when you’re doing these things a photo prompt will come along that just leaves you a bit uninspired and bored. The last few days prompts have been:
“New” , “Old” , “Nature” , and today it is “Jump”. The idea of doing this is to be as loose with the theme and creative as you like, and so I don’t blame the prompts but “New” just didn’t prompt any ideas in me, and here is where we come to the thing we all know about me but I re-learn all the time: Once I let something slide for a day (food diary, exercise, good habits) it is extremely difficult for me not to just drop the whole thing.
Which takes us to my food and exercise over the last week or so – yeah, no good.
So here is something else I learn about myself all the time, and this one is a comparison between my teenage self and my adult self. When I was a teenager I was pretty good about keeping a diary for a while. Something or someone would annoy me and I would jump straight into that book with my pen of angst, scribbling insults and furious rants and blaming everyone around me for my boredom, frustration, anxiety, etc. But I was never that good at being angry forever, and so eventually I would get over it, be having good days, and have nothing to write about.
I’m kind of the opposite with this blog. When I eat well, or have some pretty things to show off, or want to tell you about something I am proud of, here I am. You can certainly rely on me to pop in here and tell you all how great I am because I resisted a temptation or dropped a kilogram. But when I am quiet? You can be pretty certain I ate that whole packet of chocolate biscuits, or sat down and browsed the internet all day instead of being creative and active.
So this is what I learn – that in some ways I struggle to change at all, and in other ways I am a complete contradiction of myself when I was young. None of this is particularly mind-blowing or stressful, I just find it interesting. I like to think I will continue to evolve as a person, I guess I am hoping that I will continue to motivate myself to put effort into that!